everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
