how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
