If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this will be a night to untag.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
