thus making me awesome and them whores
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
