this boner is exhausting
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
