I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
