So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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