So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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