Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
