WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
