i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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