you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
is wine microwaveable?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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