I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
