Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
