Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
