the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
