so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We had sex on a dog bed..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
please don't ironically join a cult
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