Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my shit smells like andre
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize