awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
