I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
