I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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