I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
