wakey wakey hands off snakey
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
