I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
