Its about making memories worth repressing
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize