so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
