Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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