Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
