i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize