guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
