I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
