I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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