Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
