I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
