i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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