she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
