in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize