walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
