and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize