Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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