if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
