Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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