I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just tell him i said nine months
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
