I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize