Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
