my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
