Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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