if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........