we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life