You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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