You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
