question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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