I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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