Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
