By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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