Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
