i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
