she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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