My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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