IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
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You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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